SARATOGA LIVINGThe City. The Culture. The Life.

Skidmore College is about to impact the lives of a number of young music students up north in the Ticonderoga region. saratoga living has learned that the local liberal arts college will host an inaugural “Be Instrumental” instrument drive at the college’s Arthur Zankel Music Center from Wednesday, January 22 to Saturday, February 8. During that time period, volunteers at Skidmore will accept any used band instruments—brass, woodwind and percussion instruments—which will ultimately be donated to the Ticonderoga Elementary School’s student band program.

“This whole idea started when my ten year old came home from band [practice] and said that some kids were playing on plastic instruments,” says Evan Mack, a Skidmore professor and local composer, who’s spearheading the college’s instrument drive early next year. Mack recently relocated to the Ticonderoga area with his family and was shocked to learn that many students in the area couldn’t even afford to rent instruments. (According to US Census data, more than 15 percent of Ticonderoga’s population lives below the federal poverty level, higher than the national average.) Faced with its own budgetary constraints, Ticonderoga Elementary had to fall back on stocking its music program with inexpensive, plastic instruments. “It makes sense, financially, why [the school] had to do it,” says Mack. “But what’s the likelihood of playing a broken or plastic instrument and saying, ‘I want to be a trumpeter’?”

Mack knows all about the power of a good, solid music education. As a classical composer, he’s composed large-scale orchestral works, operas, librettos and premiered some with local talent, such as the newly Grammy-nominated Albany Symphony and its conductor David Alan Miller. Leaning on his connections at Skidmore, Mack’s hoping that people in the Saratoga region will come through with instrument donations. “Our school is an embarrassment of riches,” says Mack. “I encounter lots of students who played in a band program [in high school] but want to be neuroscience majors, so they must have an instrument lying around gathering dust.”

Skidmore students will actually have the first three days of the drive, January 22-24, to raid their closets in search of any long-neglected instruments. Mack says that some Skidmore students have taken the initiative and are already organizing a “Band-Aid” college band concert where the price of admission will be an instrument donation. After the first three days of the drive, there will be three Saturday drop-off dates at Zankel’s box office (January 25, February 1 and February 8), during which anyone can donate an old or gently used band instrument (broken instruments, however, will not be accepted). Saratoga Guitar and Cole’s Woodwind Shop will clean and prep the instruments before being sending them north to Ticonderoga.

If the drive receives a surplus of instruments, Mack will look to donate band wares to other schools in the region. And the local composer already has designs to launch the drive again, every four to five years, once new students arrive at Skidmore. “I’m hoping one day of maybe even getting some of my colleagues to give master classes and performances up in Ticonderoga,” says Mack. “That’s [my] personal dream.”

Even though I won’t be celebrating Thanksgiving in Saratoga Springs this year, I have many fond memories of Turkey Day in the Spa City. In my younger years, we either celebrated at home on Second Street, stuffing ourselves full of turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and gravy, and stuffing (my favorite); or we’d pack into the family car and celebrate in Schenectady at my grandparents’ house, my grandma always making a point of preparing creamed onions for me (I’d expressed an early passion for them).

At various times during the day, we’d also be glued to the television set, with favorites such as the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, the various National Football League games and TBS’ James Bond movie marathon playing on a loop in the background. And in my household, at least, there was always some kind of music being played somewhere. Whether it was me on the piano or cello, by brother and dad on the violin, or the warm crackle of the record player spinning in the corner, our house was always full of the sweet sounds of music.

I’d like yours to be, too, this Thanksgiving Day and weekend, for that matter. So here’s the perfect (Saratoga) Thanksgiving playlist that you should be blaring in your living room all day.

“Almost Thanksgiving Day” – Graham Parker
The year after this album was released, Graham Parker hooked up with Saratoga’s own The Figgs to record an album and tour extensively.

“The Bar” – The Figgs
Speaking of The Figgs, this number, penned by drummer Pete Hayes, is all about hitting your favorite local watering hole when it’s freezing outside. When I was in college, that meant Desperate Annie’s on Thanksgiving weekend and seeing a lot of people from high school. (There’s a big F-bomb in this song, so make sure it’s loud enough for all the “grownups” to hear.)

“Macy’s Day Parade” – Green Day
File this one under “the softer side of Green Day.” You might even be able to play it for said adults, who’ve probably retired to the dining room with giant tumblers of brown liquid, horrified by the curse word they just heard in The Figgs song.

“Do You Like Worms (Roll Plymouth Rock)” – The Beach Boys
Beach Boys’ maestro Brian Wilson planned to release what he was calling the “teenage symphony to God” as a follow-up to 1966’s groundbreaking Pet Sounds. That work-in-progress was to be entitled, Smile, but it didn’t see the light of day until 2011 (Wilson also released his own version of the album as a solo artist in 2004). I don’t like worms, but the pilgrims, who celebrated the first Thanksgiving Day, arrived at Plymouth Rock, so I guess this one’s relevant to the holiday.

“Young Pilgrims” – The Shins
How about them pilgrims! Many of them were young, too!

“Alice’s Restaurant Massacree” – Arlo Guthrie
What Thanksgiving would be complete without at least one spin of this 18-minute-and-37-second-long Arlo Guthrie classic?

“Thank You Friends” – Big Star
Thanksgiving is as much about seeing your family as it is celebrating with your friends. Happy Friendsgiving.

“Birds” – Neil Young
Look, I know Uncle Neil’s probably not singing about turkeys here, but we’ve got to give them a little love on a day like this. Unless, of course, you’re a vegetarian and enjoying a  not-so-tasty tofurky.

“The Thanksgiving Filter” – The Drive-By Truckers
The Drive-By Truckers are one of the greatest rock bands out there today. Period. And Patterson Hood and Mike Cooley, who recently played The Egg, are about as formidable a songwriting duo as I’ve ever heard. This number from Hood, who’s the son of one of Muscle Shoals’ Swampers mentioned in the Lynyrd Skynyrd song “Sweet Home Alabama,” is nice and wordy and has a wonderful chorus. Perfect coffee-hour fare.

“Mr. Impossible” – Phantogram
This one’s dedicated to the uncle at the dinner table wearing the red hat over his combover and “filling everybody in” about his favorite political party. And it’s also a major banger from Saratoga band Phantogram.

“The Traveler” – Julia Alsarraf
If you’re hitting the road on the busiest travel day of the year, this is a road trip track for the ages from Troy folkie Julia Alsarraf. It’s about as close to an earworm as I’ve heard from a local artist. (I also had the pleasure of hearing her play it in my living room during a recent jam session.)

“In The Kitchen” – Zan & The Winter Folk
Zan & The Winter Folk are easy listenin’ folkies from the Collar City, who perform in the same circles as Julia Alsarraf. My guess is you’ll be in the kitchen at some point on Thanksgiving Day. This should be your theme song.

“Whatever Makes You Happy” – Lughead
WEQX, the local alternative rock station, used to play this song from Albany band Lughead all the time in the ’90s. Its title is a great refrain for your hardworking parent, who’s been in that kitchen all day. “Whatever makes you happy, mom/dad.”

“Homesick” – Train
Away from your loved ones on Thanksgiving? Here’s a dropped-D deep-cut from Train’s first album that will help soothe your aching heart. The track also features Train’s original drummer Scott Underwood, who grew up in Saratoga.

“The Idiot Box” – Shadows Fall
Every family in the Capital Region will spend part of Thanksgiving Day in front of the television, which I like to refer to as “the idiot box.” Here’s a song of the same name by Shadows Fall, whose drummer, Jason Bittner, grew up in nearby Niskayuna.

“Dear Mama” – Tupac Shakur
Rhymes hip-hop artist Tupac Shakur in his Grammy-nominated single, “Dear Mama”: “You just working with the scraps you was given/And mama made miracles every Thanksgiving.” Give your mom a hug today; she deserves one.

“Best of the Best of Times” – Darlingside
OK, so this song is more of a cautionary tale about what the future might hold if we don’t get our sh*t together, but I’d like to spin it in a different direction: After Thanksgiving, the best of the best of times are actually Hanukkah and Christmas and everything else locals celebrate as families in December. So enjoy the holidays while they last.

I recently celebrated my two-year anniversary here at saratoga living, which also means I’ve been working in a bustling, public, office environment now for equally as long. The year before I started here, I was working out of my home office in Troy, NY, with only my “red-headed assistant,” my hound dog Esopus, to keep me company during the day, and the low whir of the refrigerator to “answer” me when I flew off the handle. Those were much simpler days, though I did have to Slack my editor in New York City regularly, and sometimes even talk to him on the phone. Most of the time, though, it was just my laptop and me.

Now that I’m back working in an office, keeping somewhat Dolly Parton-esque hours—and somewhat ironically, working in an enclosed office within the greater office space—I’ve had to transform the way I conduct business on a day-to-day basis. Instead of being this hermetic loose cannon, I have to actually interact, in-person, with my coworkers and boss. In the beginning, it was a major culture shock, but I’ve slowly fallen back into the routine.

And while I’m no longer owner of a lonely workday, many of my original pet peeves that cropped up while working in offices throughout my 20s and 30s have reared their ugly heads. The majority of these annoyances are in the way people, within my business sphere, abuse the English language. So, in the same vein as my list of words and phrases only Upstate New Yorkers use and in no particular order, here’s the most comprehensive list of the most annoying words and phrases utilized* in the average Upstate New York office.

*utilize(d): I had an English professor in college who’d literally deduct points from papers that used the verb “utilize.” For me, it’s one of those words people use to make themselves sound smarter than they actually are. If you do use “utilize,” use it sparingly. As in, once a year. And if you turn in a story to me at saratoga living or saratogaliving.com that includes that verb, it will not appear in the published version.

“I don’t have the bandwidth to do X”: This phrase is code for “I’m lazy.” Sure, there may be times during the work week—maybe on deadline, say—when you can’t take on a bigger project and you have to set it aside until further notice. But rare is the office where I’ve ever worked where I’ve been able to tell a direct report that I just don’t have the ability to do what they asked me to do. That’s the whole point of work: It’s an endless slog. Get over your computer-term-referencing self. Note: Close cousin “This is not in my wheelhouse” is an equally mind-boggling phrase. You’re outright telling your direct report that you don’t know how to do your job properly. Plus, you’ll never learn how to do it if you don’t step out of your comfort zone and try it. Trial by fire, I say.

“Per my last email…”: When did email inboxes become cesspools of passive-aggressiveness and poor English? It makes me want to tear my hair out even thinking about them. And this little nugget—”Per my last email,” which can also be disguised as “FYI” or “BTW,” is the big kahuna of passive-aggressive prepositional phrases. The assumption is that you didn’t read the person’s previous email and that you need to smarten up and do it before you read the current one. Option: Next time, drop by your coworker’s office and tell them, in person, what you need. It’s this thing called “human interaction” that humans do.

“Thank you in advance”: If you were paying attention, I used this horrible phrase in the subheadline of this story. You may wonder why. I distinctly remember writing a news story a few years ago about a study that concluded the following: writing “thank you in advance” as a sign-off in emails was the best way to ensure the message would be responded to promptly. Since then, I’ve fallen into the habit of using that sign-off on nearly every email I’ve sent on deadline, attempting to will my sources into sending me information with haste. My guess is it doesn’t really matter. But thank you in advance for thinking it does.

“I’ll look into that”: No…no, you won’t. You’ll never look into it. It will never be found. It will die the ugly death that stuff that doesn’t get looked into dies. And you know it.

“Can I pick your brain?”: Brains aren’t meant to be picked. Noses aren’t either.

“Let’s take this offline”: In the same vein as the “bandwidth” phrase, this one was no doubt invented by some office drone, marinating all day in the sick, blue light of his or her PC screen, who thought that an internet term should be used in plain English. Sorry, nerd; your office isn’t a Jim Cameron movie. Leave it alone.

“Circle back” – What, are you flying a bleepin’ biplane or something? Beware of this one’s equally annoying alternative, “Let’s circle the wagons.”

“Monetize” – An old colleague of mine tipped me off to this gem. Ever since us digital editors started trying to make advertising dollars on our websites, we started using garbage terms like this one. They’ve seeped into print ad sales as well. Hell, you could monetize your dog if you wanted to. I don’t know how, but now I’m wringing my hands like an evil CEO and trying to figure out how much money I can make from my “red-headed assistant.” Look out for the equally virulent “incentivize,” which some human resources professional probably invented.

“Quick question…” – Anytime you see this phrase in a text or an email, know that the question’s neither going to be quick, nor likely even be a question in the first place. I use it all the time. I can attest.

“Where are you based?” – In Timbuktu, NY. Never use this in an email, or that’s where I’ll tell you I’m from. The tipoff might be the “555” in the middle of my phone number, too.

“Ping me” – By definition, a “ping” is a short, high-pitched ringing sound. Why would you want to do that to anyone?

“Let’s table this until next time” – Using “table” as a verb is the grammatical equivalent, in my mind, of using “summer” as a verb. As in, “Jenny summered this year in Nantucket.” Can you hear me dry heaving?

Using “buddy” to refer to someone you don’t know in a professional environment – If we haven’t broken bread together or enjoyed each other’s company (no pun intended), you’re not my buddy. You’re my coworker or someone I’m transacting business with. So listen here, buddy; we’re not buddies.

Did we miss any good ones? Leave them in the comments on our Facebook page.